Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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