Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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