your room smells of hookers.
And success
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just pee around me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wear drunk well.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
