god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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