her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So squirting runs in the family.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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