i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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