oh god the rape fog is back!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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