the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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