dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
