So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Randomize
