my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
