What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
