Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
