Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
