you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
