Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
