The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
