Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
