I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
