she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
