you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
