What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
