this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
