We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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