She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
