why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
