U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
