i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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