i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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