oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
