Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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