i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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