we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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