a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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