I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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