How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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