I want to have your abortion
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
