Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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