tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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