Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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