It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
