i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Four minutes until I can fart!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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