I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
