Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
