I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
