would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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