Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
