Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
