the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
