Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
