She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
