Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
