Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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